


H.

by Panlock



Series: H. Universe [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asphyxiation, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Blood and Violence, Dark, Dirty Talk, Healing, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Men Crying, Recovery, Roleplay, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Shoddy aftercare, Swearing, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Trauma, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 23:00:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21240875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panlock/pseuds/Panlock
Summary: Naruto understands, right away, that his new sensei doesn’t like him. He can feel it when Kakashi’s single, exposed eye slides from Sasuke, to Sakura, and then ices over him.MIND THE TAGS





	1. When You Look at Me

**Author's Note:**

> If you're a fan of my other Kaka/Naru works, know that this fic has a MUCH DARKER tone. It might not be your cup of tea.  
Read the tags
> 
> Title and section breaks are from the Tool song H.

XiiX 

_ What's coming through is alive _

_ What's holding up is a mirror _

_ But what's singing songs is a snake _

_ Looking to turn this piss to wine _

_ They're both totally void of hate _

_ But killing me just the same _

XiiX 

Naruto understands, right away, that his new sensei doesn’t like him. He can feel it when Kakashi’s single, exposed eye slides from Sasuke, to Sakura, and then ice over him. People think he’s stupid, but Naruto’s not an idiot. By the tender age of twelve he has been on the receiving end of that look for most of his life; he _ knows _ when someone doesn’t like him. 

From that first encounter the blond is wary of the Copy-nin. He makes sure to stay out of hands reach, rarely let’s the older man walk behind him, and is very careful to ensure that they are never alone. Their sensei seems to notice his efforts but says nothing, so Naruto takes that as confirmation. 

He doesn’t know why, exactly, Kakashi dislikes him, but that’s not unusual. Most people don’t like him. There are differences, though. The older ninja never calls him names or tries to exclude him, which is par for the course around here. Naruto is very familiar with that routine. Parents still yank their kids off the street when he walks by and Ichiraku’s is about the only place that will serve him. Even now that he’s a genin it’s not uncommon for grown men to shove him in the dirt or back hand him if he stands too close in a crowd.

The discreet, simmering, disdain from Kakashi wears Naruto thin, though. It feels like the jounin is pretending to care about him. Kakashi is never cruel, but something makes Naruto think he _ wants _to be. 

XiiX 

_The snake behind me hisses_

_What my damage could have been_

_My blood before me begs me_

_Open up my heart again_

_And I feel this coming over like a storm again_

_Considerately_

XiiX 

Team Seven will be completing a routine exercise or mundane mission and everyone will be jovial. Sometimes Kakashi even seems to forget his animosity and smiles at all three of them, collectively, and Naruto thinks maybe he’s won over the jounin. He’ll draw attention to himself the only way he knows how at that age—obnoxiously—and Kakashi’s single grey eye would harden. The atmosphere gets heavy when that happens, and it makes Naruto’s hair stand on end. Later, when he’s a bit older and more adapt in reading chakra signatures, he’ll realize Kakashi was exuding bloodlust.

One day, while they’re practicing chakra control over a river, Sasuke notices it, too. It’s late spring and warm outside. The two genin are shirtless, down to their shorts, and barefoot on the river. It’s taking all of Naruto’s barely there concentration to stay above the uneven, rushing water but he’s managing.

The Uchiha is beside him, also concentrating. Sakura isn’t with them, as she mastered this some time ago mostly on her own. Kakashi is lounging in the grass a few feet away, lazily reading porn. It’s a normal day for Team Seven and Naruto isn’t thinking about how his teacher avoids looking at him at all unless it’s to glare.

Beside the blond, Sasuke grunts and his right heel cuts through the water. He salvages his control right after but looks annoyed. 

Meanwhile, Naruto is actually fairing all right. “Ha! Stupid teme, admit I’m better than you at this!” His grin is as loud as his voice, but there’s no malice in his words. He’s simply proud. For once, he’s not pulling in third place among his teammates. He looks across the river, wanting his teachers approval.

The jounin is sitting in the grass with his long legs spread casually and bent at the knee. He’s slouching forward slightly, propping one arm against his knee and holding his erotic novel between his fingers, but he’s looking at Naruto.

He doesn’t look proud.

He looks unhinged, strung tight as a bow like he’s about to tear right through the blond. Naruto’s grin disintegrates and he falls through the river's surface.

The zap of cold water is almost a relief on his heated, vulnerable skin. No one had ever looked at Naruto like that. He’s felt hated and misunderstood, he knows people don’t trust him and think he’s a nuisance. But Kakashi scanned his half naked body up and down like he wanted to see him ruined. It makes the 12 year old think about staying in the river, not wanting to risk crawling onto the shore where Kakashi waits for him.

Then Sasuke is hauling him up by the wrist, barely keeping balance while he does it. “Help me out, dobe,” he grits his teeth and steps back, pulling his teammate until the other boy can stabilize himself.

Naruto ends up on his hands and knees over the rushing water, recovering at Sasuke’s feet. He doesn’t want to turn around and face their teacher. His stomach burns with a shame he doesn’t really understand. It doesn’t help that he also failed his exercise by falling into the river.

Sasuke stands over him and waits as patiently as he’s ever been for anything. He looks at their sensei with Naruto between them and holds his ground. The blond doesn’t dare raise his head, because he can feel that bizarre flickering heat in the air again. He can feel Kakashi’s eyes roam over his sunburnt shoulders and down his naked back—but then it’s gone. Kakashi leaves. 

Later Sasuke and Naruto sit alone on the bank, laying side by side in the sunlight while they dry. “What was that about?” The Uchiha asks with his arms behind his head. He knows there’s a good chance Naruto will tell him to fuck off, but they’re both still spooked.

The blond shrugs, tries to tell himself it doesn’t matter. Kakashi is just one more person who doesn’t like him. Add the Copy-nin to the list…but Naruto _ wants _ his sensei to like him, so badly. “I don’t know. He doesn’t like me.”

Sasuke turns on his side and props himself up on an elbow. He makes sure his teammate is looking at him when he asks, “has he ever hurt you?”

“No,” the blond answers honestly. Kakashi mostly avoids touching him. Their teacher isn’t a tactile guy. He doesn’t touch anyone unless he has to, whether in battle or training. He’s seen the silver-haired ninja hold Sakura by the wrist, redirecting her kunai strike, and he's seen him spar with Sasuke. Kakashi typically keeps his hands in his pockets when he’s around Naruto, though. “But I think he wants to.” He admits quietly, and immediately regrets saying it.

He expects Sasuke to roll his eyes and defend their teacher. Kakashi and the Uchiha train together, they have each other’s respect. Naruto is just a bothersome dead last.

Instead, Sasuke looks him over cautiously, like he’s worried. “Don’t let him.”

Naruto just blinks, and nods. He almost wishes Sasuke had blew him off because now he knows it’s true. Kakashi _ does _want to hurt him.

XiiX

_ Venomous voice, tempts me _

_ Drains me, bleeds me _

_ Leaves me cracked and empty _

_ Drags me down like some sweet gravity _

XiiX 

The Chunin Exams are around the corner, and Naruto constantly feels like there’s fire under his skin. Being with Team Seven is excruciating because he really likes Sasuke and Sakura and, if he were anyone else, he’d probably really like Kakashi, too. But he’s not someone else and Naruto walks around with eyes on the back of his head all the time. It’s unnerving and only made worse because Sasuke has been sticking to his side more and more.

The Uchiha doesn’t say anything else about it but he lurks nearby any time their sensei is around. Naruto feels like Sasuke knows something he doesn’t and he's too much of a coward to ask. 

XiiX

_The snake behind me hisses_

_ What my damage could have been _

_ My blood before me begs me _

_ Open up my heart again _

_ And I feel this coming over like a storm again _

_ And I feel this coming over like a storm again _

XiiX 

One evening, during their last overnight mission before the first round of exams, Naruto wakes in the middle of the night. They’re in a tent, Sasuke is laying beside him fast asleep, and Sakura is in her own tent a few feet away. It’s Kakashi’s turn to keep watch but he’s not at the fire where he should be.

He’s crouching inside the dark tent, just an arms length away.

Naruto doesn’t make a sound but he knows Kakashi knows he’s awake. He can hear his own heart gallop loudly; he’s sure the jounin can hear it, too.

Kakashi remains unnaturally still, perched with his legs open and arms over his thighs. Naruto wonders how long his teacher has been watching him and, finally, gets the nerve to sit up. He immediately notices two things: Kakashi’s sharingan is exposed and Naruto’s orange jacket has been zipped down, opening around the mesh underneath.

He didn’t unzip his jacket when he went to bed. There are mosquitoes in this region, and he’s _ sure _he kept it zipped up. That means…someone else had reached over his body and slowly dragged the zipper down while he slept. He presses his hand against his slim chest, and feels a drop in his stomach.

“Go back to sleep, Naruto.” Kakashi’s voice is low and barely there, so quiet the blonde’s not sure if he really hears it at all. Then Kakashi is turning and ducking out of the tent.

Naruto’s hands are shaking when he pops the end of his zipper back in place and tugs it over the teeth, all the way up to his chin. He leans forward, catching his face in his own hands and forces his breathing to calm. He needs to be able to hear, needs to know where Kakashi is. He can hear the jounin walk away from the tent with slow, thoughtful steps.

Naruto is so sure he’s about to hear his teacher stop and whip around and there’s fuck all he can do about it if Kakashi decides tonight is the night. Naruto doesn’t go back to sleep. He and Kakashi both stay awake all night, listening to the other breath a few feet away. 

XiiX

_I am too connected to you to_

_ Slip away, to fade away _

_ Days away I still feel you _

_ Touching me, changing me _

_And considerately killing me_

_ And considerately killing me _

_ And considerately killing me _

_And considerately killing me_

XiiX

After the Chunin Exams Sasuke leaves, Naruto almost dies, and Kakashi is the one to save him.

When Kakashi finds him, Naruto recalls the day Sasuke pulled him out of the river. There’s so much blood in his eyes he can hardly see and his clothes are torn. He’s a vulnerable, limp doll with a hole in his chest and he panics. Sasuke isn’t here anymore. His protector tried to kill him and fled. Now he’s alone with Cold-Blooded-Kakashi and his weird, hostile eyes. He’s too weak to struggle, though, and can only manage a whimper when his teacher lifts him up.

“Don’t move,” the jounin murmurs as he scoops Naruto’s battered body against his chest and carries him out of the ravine. He’s oddly gentle, even covers the boy with what’s left of his tattered jacket. 

Naruto gasps and gags; blood stains his teeth as his breathing is stifled around a terrified sob. He wasn’t even this scared when Sasuke charged at him but he's losing consciousness and Kakashi is carrying him off. His instincts tell him to run and he _ can’t_. “Don't,” he begs, not even sure what he’s afraid of as tears cut through the blood on his face. “Please, don’t.”

Kakashi looks stricken and hugs him a bit closer. “Sh, I’m not going to hurt you,” his voice is choked but he keeps his word. He carries the blond all the way to Tsunade and asks her to save his student. 

XiiX 

_ Without the skin _

_ Beneath the storm _

_ Under these tears _

_ The walls came down _

_ And the snake is drowned and _

_ As I look in his eyes _

_ My fear begins to fade _

_ Recalling all of those times _

_ I could have cried then _

_ I should have cried then _

XiiX 

After the Valley of the End, Naruto leaves with Jiraiya. Kakashi seems relieved to see him go, like the blonde’s very presence makes him crazy. They don’t see each other for nearly three years. Naruto leaves a 12 year old boy and returns a 15 year old young man. By ninja standards, he’s an adult.

Reuniting with his friends is fun and exciting. Everyone has gotten stronger, a little more mature. Most of them have lost the childlike softness that genin's have, and more severe, experienced edges have emerged. When he catches up with Sakura he notices she eyes him up and down and he gloats a bit; he’s finally taller than her.

When he runs into Kakashi they both look startled, which flips everything Naruto remembered about his chilly sensei on its head.

He had thought about Kakashi as often as he thought about Sasuke. The jounin remained fixed in his memory as he knew him as a child: tall, creepily quiet, stoic but unpredictable, and vicious. He remembers feeling like Kakashi was a predator, looming and one bad day from striking. He was like a shadow, terrifying because you didn’t know what was really lurking there.

Now, in broad daylight in the middle of Konoha’s streets, Kakashi doesn’t look like the shadowy monster of his childhood memories. He looks the same. He’s lean and carries himself with a lazy, slouched posture. His face is still mostly covered, and his single grey eye looks at Naruto differently than everyone else but _ this time _Naruto sees deep unease in that eye. 

Oh, there’s still hostility but it's the kind you see in a beat dog when you try to pet it. Kakashi looks like he could bite but he also looks like Naruto already kicked him a half dozen times.

“Hey Kakashi-sensei,” the blond says slowly. “Uh, I’m back! Surprise?” He tries to sound light-hearted and reminds himself nothing ever actually happened.

That’s the other thing. After gaining a few years and traveling with Jiraiya of all people, Naruto understands what Kakashi’s frantic eye meant. He understands what Sasuke must have figured out and that twists his stomach. No child should have understood the meaning and he wonders, as close as Sasuke and Kakashi were…did he ever?

“You’ve grown.” Kakashi sounds winded. He brings his hand up, palm horizontal between them as he slices it through the air, indicating how close they are in height now.

_ Hell, yeah I have_, Naruto thinks dangerously and realizes he’s not afraid of Kakashi anymore. Maybe his sensei could still kick his ass but for some reason Kakashi looks shook. “I’ve changed, too.” 

The jounin nods, agreeing with the others self-assessment. “I can tell.” He sounds happy, maybe even proud, and offers to take the blond to see Tsunade. Apparently, there’s a new member of Team Seven as well as a temporary captain.

XiiX

_ And as the walls come down and _

_ As I look in your eyes _

_ My fear begins to fade _

_ Recalling all of the times _

_ I have died _

_ And will die _

_ It's all right_

_ I don't mind _

_ I don't mind _

_ I don't mind _

XiiX 

That becomes their new normal. The silver-haired jounin still tracks Naruto with his cold, grey eye but it’s weary instead of murderous most of the time. Occasionally, a flash of rage blooms forth. They don’t talk about it but they become somewhat friendly. It’s not uncommon for ninja to experience random flares of bloodlust, and Naruto tries to tell himself that’s all it is.

He still finds himself wanting the jounin's respect and attention but Kakashi keeps him at an arm's length most days. Sometimes, it looks as if the undefined boundary makes his teacher sad, too. Naruto tries to sort out what it is that triggers Kakashi’s bouts of fury, thinking if he can solve _ that, _then they can be friends.

He asks the older ninja if the fox killed someone close to him, because that’s the usual reason, right? The demon inside him is responsible for killing a lot of his friends loved ones.

Kakashi pauses, having been sharpening a shuriken when the blond spoke up. “No,” he answers and continues his work. It’s clear he doesn’t want to answer any more questions.

Next, Naruto tries to catalog the things he does that causes Kakashi to push back, looking for a pattern. He can’t find one. Some days his teacher is relaxed and cheerful around him, other times he’s closed off and subtly hostile. The only thing that seems to make them both uncomfortable is any state of undress.

As horrifying as it is to consider, Naruto assumed Kakashi had _ lost interest _in him once he got older. That would explain why he occasionally got defensive, because he knows Naruto knows what he wanted years ago. 

That theory is called to question when Naruto goes down to the training fields with Bushy Brows and Kiba. He didn’t wear his usual clothes, knowing he would only tear them up, and instead wears the standard shinobi uniform.

When their trio approach the training fields Rock hollers, pointing out that his sensei is engaging in a glorious battle with _ Naruto’s _ sensei and they should watch their masters to learn from their impressive skill. Kiba and Naruto roll their eyes, but sure. These fights _ are _usually interesting.

While they stand off to the side, watching Gai try his best to wallop Kakashi into the dirt, Naruto slings off his flack jacket and long sleeve shirt. It’s a warm day, and he didn’t plan on wearing it while he practiced taijutsu. He sighs and tips his head back, running his hands through his hair. He really needs a haircut, it’s getting a little long around his face…

When he looks back to the training field Kakashi is staring directly at him, sharingan spinning like a pinwheel, and Gai uses that exact moment to drive his fist into the other jounin's face.

After that, Naruto questions his earlier assumption about Kakashi no longer being interested. The idea doesn’t make him fret like it used to, but it’s still unsettling in a different way.

In the end, he doesn’t figure it out until a year later. 

XiiX 

_ I am too connected to you to _

_ Slip away, to fade away _

_ Days away I still feel you _

_ Touching me, changing me _

_ And considerately killing me _

_ And considerately killing me _

_ And considerately killing me_

XiiX 

At the end of the war, on his 17th birthday, Naruto gets the two answers he most wanted regarding his sensei. 

Sasuke gives him peace of mind when he honestly denies it. No, Kakashi never tried _ anything _ with him. Not even a backwards glance, it’s only ever been Naruto.

His father breaks his heart when Minato uses their last moments to ask Naruto to tell Kakashi he’s sorry. He should have never done what he did. 

XiiX 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love feedback on this chapter. I wanted tension, and a dramatic revelation at the ending.  
Please let me know if I hit the mark.


	2. See Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe Kakashi is so calm because the worst thing he could do has already happened, and they’re both still standing."  
//////////////////////////////////
> 
> **PLEASE READ**  
The events of this chapter are wholly consensual and occur between two 18+ yr old characters, but it's still problematic. You 100% know where this is going before "it" happens, because there is a conversation between the characters prior.  
That being said, it's graphic and violent. If that's not what you're comfortable with, I put line breaks before and after the graphic scenes.  
***The scenes are separated by the same lyrics from the previous chapter. You could skip it if you want, basically reading the beginning and end of the chapter and avoid the middle where the explicit content is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big love to CopperDaily for encouraging me to share this and for the edits ❤

XiiX 

It takes another year and some months after the war before Naruto confronts Kakashi. He couldn’t bring himself to do it sooner. He was too worried about Sasuke’s fate and too busy assisting in the recovery efforts. It also takes him some time to gather the courage to bring it up. They won’t be able to pretend anymore, not after this conversation.

He feels sick before he’s even through the door, deciding to do this in the Hokages office one night while Kakashi is working late. Let’s see if the silver-haired ninja can deny it while Naruto stands next to a picture of his old man. 

“Naruto,” Kakashi drawls in a bored tone without looking up. He’s at his desk, scanning some paperwork with a focused, pinched expression between his _two_ grey eyes. “How can I help you?” 

That’s a loaded question. Naruto has had a long, long time to think about this moment. He’s been thinking about those hot, wild looks Kakashi has been giving him since he was twelve and didn’t know what it meant. He’s been thinking about it since he was fifteen and understood, but wanted to know more. He’s been thinking about it since his dad found out who Naruto’s sensei is and asked if Kakashi ever _did anything_ to him. 

Naruto thinks this is a long time coming. He deserves this, but he’s still ready to fight for it. 

He shuts the door and immediately feels the sealing jutsu take effect. Another reason he chose this place, no one would be able to hear them. “We need to talk about Minato.” 

Kakashi’s shoulders clench and his eyes stop roaming over his paperwork. He looks up and Naruto is staring at him with knowing eyes. “What about him,” his words come out with false casualness. 

Naruto ignores the question for now. He decided if he was going to have this conversation, it would be the whole thing. From the beginning. “I knew right away you couldn’t stand me.” He goes on talking, ignoring the way Kakashi is silently begging him to shut up. “I was used to that, though. No one liked me because of Kurama.” He looks around the room with his hands on his hips. There’s a portrait of Minato on the wall behind him, and a stone carving of his face over the village. 

Kakashi is surrounded by the image of his rapist. 

And he was saddled with his look alike son. 

“I thought that was why you hated me, until you told me the Kyuubi attack didn’t take anyone you care about.” He scoffs, laughing at the dark irony. “I bet you’re the only one who celebrated my birthday, huh?”

Kakashi flinches at that and Naruto walks around, standing next to the picture of his dear old dad. “Then, I figured, if it wasn’t the fox it had to be me. There was something about _me_ that made you just **hate** _ me_.” He looks over his shoulder and takes in the image of the fourth Hokage. Naruto’s stomach sinks, thinking about what it must have been like for Kakashi. 

His sensei, his Hokage. Who could have protected Kakashi? The silver-haired ninja was an orphan, just like Naruto. No one would have cared even if they knew. No one would have cared if Kakashi took advantage of Naruto, that’s for sure. 

Naruto thinks about all the times he was at his teachers mercy. Every time that boom of bloodlust snapped in the air Kakashi was remembering it, probably thinking about taking his revenge on Minato's son. 

The blond looks away from the portrait and Kakashi is standing with his hands braced against the desk. He looks as pale as a ghost. “Whatever you think happened, you’re wrong.”

Naruto shakes his head. “He told me, Kakashi. Minato fucking told me.” The younger man isn’t sure if his teacher is protecting Konoha's honor, Naruto’s memory of his otherwise heroic father, or his own fragile state of mind but Naruto is not having it. “I don’t know how you can stand to look at me.” 

Kakashi is frozen behind the desk but his breathing is shallow and uneven. “Having two eyes helps,” he says absently. The joke is flat but it still invokes some meaning. Minato took _ a lot _ from Kakashi but Naruto gave him just as much. Naruto protected the their village, _saved the world_, brought Sasuke home, changed Obito's heart, brought Gai back from death, and returned his slashed eye. 

Naruto grits his teeth and balls up his fists. “Stop being nice to me!” He walks up on his Hokage and gets behind the desk with him. He shoves Kakashi against the chest. “I know you hate me. You think I don’t notice the way you look at me?!”

Ashamed, Kakashi looks down and lets himself be pushed back. Naruto is taller than him now, stronger, and he really does look so much like his father. He feels a panicked spike cut through him, like the time he saw Naruto in the training fields. Shirtless, in those familiar standard slacks, and long blond hair in his face—it's the same now. He's seeing a mirror of his greatest fear. 

Kakashi holds up a hand between them, desperate for some space. “Stop,” he asks breathlessly and backs up into his desk. He can't meet Naruto's eyes.

The blond realizes what he’s done and makes a choked cry in the back of his throat. He doesn’t step back, though. He holds himself just a few inches from the other, boxing Kakashi against his own desk. “Tell me. I deserve to know.” 

Kakashi's eyes cut up to his student, suddenly angry. “The fuck does that mean? This isn’t about you, Naruto!” 

“It became about me when I woke up to you undressing me when I was twelve years old!” 

Kakashi looks like he might be sick and presses the back of his wrist over his masked mouth. He can’t deny it because Naruto is right. That night he almost... 

Since the moment he saw the kid, he wanted to hurt Naruto. It wasn’t sexual, he just wanted to damage Minato’s brat and see if that made him feel better. That feeling stayed with him for far too long. It would creep up on him even as he was simultaneously softening to the bright eyed boy. Kakashi isn’t making excuses for himself. He knows it was wrong to ever think about breaking Naruto’s skinny arm or driving his knee into the boys gut …but it was just anger. Years of directionless rage fixed on an easy target. It wasn’t sexual, until that night in the tent. 

He wondered, what had been so good about it that Minato could justify doing what he did? And the scene was too familiar: a defenseless orphan genin on a mission, slumbering next to his Uchiha teammate. It made him crazy. How many times did Kakashi wake up exactly like that, knowing someone else had pushed aside his clothes? And this was _ his _ son. He thought, this was his chance at revenge. He was insane with the idea, like it was his right. It was poetic justice. 

He almost did it, even used the sharingan to record what he did because he only planned to do it once. He sat in that tent and watched Naruto sleep. Kakashi had wanted it, all of it—the revenge and the satisfaction. 

He reached out and unfolded the boys jacket, zipper teeth clicking softly on the way down. He looked over his soft, vulnerable stomach through the fishnets. He thought about doing more. He thought about dragging the boy out of the tent, tossing his ass in the dirt, and taking him by the fire the way Minato liked to do to him. 

He couldn’t do it, though. He had decided to stop before Naruto even woke up but he couldn’t make himself leave. He stayed, and watched. The memory makes him sick now, remembering the moment Naruto woke up to see him lurking, when the blond noticed his clothes had been displaced. Kakashi remembers fleeing the tent and hearing the frightened, tight breaths from his student. Kakashi sat by the fire and stared at the flames, listening to Naruto fight sleep the rest of the night because he was too scared of Kakashi to close his eyes. 

“What do you want me to say, Naruto? I…I’m sorry.”

“No one asked you for a fucking apology,” the blond growls angrily. He stands there, letting them both suffer in the dense, creeping unease. “I just want to know why you did it. I want to know.” 

Kakashi’s mouth is agape behind his mask and his thighs are still braced against his desk. Naruto wants to know? He’s never talked about it or told anyone. It’s been burning in his gut for 20 years. “I… don’t ask me that.” 

“When did it start?” Naruto scans his teachers eyes frantically. “How old were you?” 

The other man shakes his head, feeling numb. “Ten.” 

Naruto’s face crumbles, like there was one small part of him still holding out that this was a misunderstanding. “I’m sorry.” 

Distantly, Kakashi wonders why Naruto is apologizing. It’s not his fault, it never was. 

“How… Was it only once?” Naruto is pretty sure he knows the answer, but he needs to ask anyway. 

“No,” the older ninja admits and glances down. He can’t look his student in the eyes right now. “I don’t know how—” he gasps, “how many times.” His control is slipping and he looks around them, looking for a way out. 

Naruto lifts his arms and grabs Kakashi’s Hokage robes. He’s so angry, angry for Kakashi…how has he been living with this? He’s heard how people talk about them. The famed Yellow Flash and his star pupil, now the Hokage just like his sensei, he would be so proud. Naruto wonders how it must feel to wear this shit, when it’s likely Minato slipped off his own robes before he had his way with Kakashi more than once. “Take this off.” 

“What?” 

“Take the stupid robes off!”

Kakashi’s eyes glaze over and suddenly it’s like he’s not there. He moves his nimble fingers over a clasp under his chin and tears it apart. The robe falls off his shoulders a second later and spills back on the desk behind him. 

Naruto notices the dazed way his teacher obeys and pales. “Is that how he treated you?” 

“No,” Kakashi still won’t meet the others blue eyes. Naruto might have inherited his father’s looks, but he has his mothers personality. Kushina was loud and pushy. Minato, on the other hand, was always calm and quiet, just like Kakashi learned to be. 

“What was he like?” What an awful question. Tell me about my dad, when he was bullying you into sex you didn’t want.

Finally, Kakashi looks up. He’s slouching a bit, maybe subconsciously feeling small with Minato's grown son bearing down on him. “Cruel, like me.” That’s the truth. Minato wasn’t known for it, but the bastard was cold and cunning and all those other wicked qualities that inevitably made the Copy-nin perfect for Anbu. In the end, Kakashi is more like the Fourth than his own son. “He'd watch me like I watched you, made me terrified to go to bed. Is that what you want to hear?” 

“Yeah,” the blond blinks. He feels nauseous, but this is what he wanted. 

“Fuck, Naruto,” he sounds strangled, weak. “Why do you want to hear this shit?” Kakashi slumps, putting his palms on the robe behind him and leans back like he’s trying to get away. 

“Because it matters. To me.” He answers softly and looks over his teachers fatigued body. “I thought about it a lot. I tried to understand before I was old enough to get it, wanted to know why you hate me so much.” 

“I don’t hate you,” Kakashi sucks in a harsh breath, feels it rattle through his chest. “You just look so much like him.” 

“Yeah, I do,” Naruto agrees and puts his hands on the desk, on either side of Kakashi’s body. The older ninja freezes, truly pinned now, but Naruto isn’t done. “Did you want to hurt me? Touch me?” 

“Yes, both.” He's resigned to it. Who else could he tell? This is the closest thing to restitution Kakashi will ever have. 

“Why? I want you to say it.” 

“Because Minato fucked me every chance he got, Naruto.” He pauses, realizing it’s the first time he’s ever said it out loud. “He’d hold me down and cover my mouth so I couldn’t make a sound. He always wanted me quiet, always had his fucking hand on my mouth.” 

Naruto says nothing, but his eyes are soft and lidded as he looks over his teachers face. So much of it is hidden by the mask. He imagines if an adult smothered his hand over a young boys face, that’s about how much it would cover. 

He looks back up to the other man's sad, grey eyes. There's something else he needs to ask. "Did my mom know?" 

They're so close, even the mask can't obscure Kakashi's pained reaction. He winces and shakes his head, "please don't make me—" 

Naruto presses his forehead against Kakashi's and closes his eyes. "Just, tell me." 

Kakashi shudders. The blond is so close to him, but their only point of contact is just above their brows. It's still too much. "Yes," he admits quietly and he can see how that one word shatters Naruto's world.

Kakashi was 14 when he told Kushina what her doting husband was doing. It had been happening for years, but she was pregnant. He wanted her to know, for the sake of the child inside her. How did Kakashi forget that? He tried to protect Naruto.

Kushina accused him of trying to come between her and Minato, of being a lonely brat with a crush. "She...didn't believe me," Kakashi whispers. 

Naruto leans back enough to separate them and looks away. He doesn't know what to do with this new wave of rage and grief. A single tear crawls down his face and he angrily wipes it away. Naruto wonders if he would have believed it if Minato hadn't told him, himself. It doesn't matter; he knows the truth now. He takes in a deep, harsh breath and puts his hand back on the desk. He's determined to see this through. “Kakashi, how did you want to hurt me?” 

The older man sags, bowled over by guilt. “I never,” his voice cracks and he hangs his head in shame. Naruto’s face is so close to his, leaning next to his ear. “I only, just the one night in the tent. I never touched you before or after, I didn’t. I swear." 

Naruto runs his palm up the other mans nape, gently swiping over his silver hair. “You wanted to, though. It’s ok.” 

Ice runs through Kakashi’s veins. “Naruto,” he tries to straighten up and regain some control but the blond doesn’t budge. “Why are you here?”

“I’m not a child anymore.” He licks his lips and runs a hand through his blond hair. His bangs break loose, framing his face and giving him the appearance of someone a bit older, with a more angled profile. “Do you want me to wear the robe?”

Kakashi’s hands grip the white cloth behind him and for an insane second, he thinks about it. Naruto looks so much like Minato now. With his hair like this, in the dim room, if he wore the Hokage robe… it wouldn’t be perfect. If they wanted that Naruto could just use a henge. 

No, it would be perfect because Naruto could represent them both. He could be Minato, and his innocent son at the same time. 

Naruto can see the sadistic interest coil and collide with self-disgust and fear in his teachers face. It reminds him of the things he heard about Kakashi during his Anbu career. The details are scant, naturally, but the rumors were still chilling. Naruto realizes now that Kakashi went to Anbu to get away from Minato; assassination, torture, death, and god knows what else became his salvation. “I want you to do it.” 

A barely contained shiver skips across Kakashi's body. “You want me to do _ what_?” 

“Whatever you want.” 

Kakashi makes a pained noise and rocks forward. His arms fly out and he almost grabs his former student to do—he doesn’t know what. He should throw him out the door; he should leave. This isn’t going to solve anything. Kakashi has been broken for over 20 years, this last ditch fucked up intervention isn’t going to help anyone. “You have no idea what I want.” 

The blond doesn’t even flinch. “I’ve got an idea. I can take it.” He had talked to Kurama before coming here. They made arrangements. 

“How could you possibly want this? You’re talking about being my punching bag and you didn’t do anything, Naruto. It isn’t your fault.” Kakashi is holding on by a thread. He reminds himself that he respects Naruto, maybe even genuinely loves him when he’s not thinking about his parentage. He hasn’t wanted to hurt the blond in a long, long time.

But the offer is burning him alive. 

Naruto’s brow crinkles. He looks concerned, or like he might cry. This whole time he’s been standing before his teacher, holding Kakashi hostage between his body and the desk. He moves one hand up and slides it over the other man's jaw. Kakashi angrily jerks his head back but Naruto chases him, palming the lower half of his face over the mask. “You still blame me, though, right? You look at me and see him. I know you do.” 

Kakashi just stares at the other. It’s true. Even now, with Naruto’s warm hand burning against his face all the Copy-nin can think of is Minato. 

The blondes words are firm when he continues. “I hate him for what he did to you, and I love you for protecting me from the same thing.” 

Kakashi wants to tell his student no, you should not love or admire me. He wants to remind Naruto how freaked out the boy was when Kakashi had to carry him out of the ravine. He never had more sense than in that moment. He should be afraid. 

But Naruto is still holding his face with one, large, hand and forcing Kakashi to look at him. “I know what it’s like to have something inside you that just wants to _hurt_ everyone. To want to make someone else hurt as badly as you do. I know how hard it is to avoid temptation.” His eyes flick down Kakashi’s body. 

The older ninja feels his students eyes slide over him. Everything is pooling in his gut right now: fear, disgust, anger, arousal, panic, excitement, violence. Kakashi can’t separate any of it. 

When Naruto’s blue eyes scan back up he looks Kakashi right in the face. “I want you to make it hurt. You don’t have to be alone anymore.” 

Kakashi’s brain whites out. “Alright.” He scrambles behind his own back to find the Hokage robe and throws it at Naruto. 

The blond steps back enough to catch the white cloth and put it on. He dressed as much like Minato as he could without making it painfully obvious. He’s in blue shinobi slacks and a black t-shirt. Unless he wants to use a henge there’s nothing he can do about his whisker scars or bandaged arm, but with his slightly longer hair and the long sleeves of the robe it hardly matters. 

“Kakashi—” 

The elder cuts him off, “he called me pup when he wanted it.” Kakashi is gripping the edge of his desk, overwhelmed at the sight of Naruto’s imitation. He’s reminding himself that this isn’t Minato, not really. The man is dead. 

Naruto keeps his face composed but inwardly his stomach rolls. He knows Kakashi’s father was called White Fang and that he killed himself when the boy was very young. Minato calling him _ pup _ was a slight, a cruel reminder of his dishonored dead dad and the fact that Kakashi was an orphan. 

That bit of information reminds Naruto that there’s still a lot he doesn’t know. “Tell me what you want. I’ll do it.”

Kakashi’s breathing stutters. There is something…but can he really ask for it? Since Naruto got older, there has been one fantasy…ugly and deranged as it is… that Kakashi kept coming back to. It started out of fear. He’d see the aging Uzumaki child looking more and more like a man and would helplessly think of his father. He thought, like father like son? What if Naruto got the same itch? 

That kernel of anxiety devolved into what Kakashi would do in that situation. How would he react if Naruto came after him like Minato did? He had no reason to think it would actually happen, still he couldn’t help but worry when Naruto would stand too close to him or use some mannerism that was too much like his father. Kakashi obsessed over it. That very situation seems so close to what they’re playing with, now. 

“Force yourself on me. I want you to be his son.” 

Naruto doesn’t have to ask to what end. He knows. It still takes him a moment to collect the resolve, though. He knew this was going to go one of two ways; either Kakashi was going to tear him up or they would do this. Honestly, even if he expected it, Naruto still wishes it was the other way around. 

But this is what Kakashi wants. 

It’s easier than it should be, to slip into the assumed identity of someone he hardly knows. Kakashi doesn’t want him to be Minato, though. He wants _ Naruto _ to _ act _ like his father. There’s only one problem with that. “Before we start,” he murmurs slowly and Kakashi looks stricken, like he’s afraid Naruto has dangled this in face only to yank it back and call him a freak. “I need you to know, to understand, _ believe me _ when I tell you I’m not… like him.” 

That’s what Kakashi needs, though. “You said—”

“And I will,” the blond promises. “And you can do whatever you want with it.” _ It, _ he says. Not me. Because what he’s about to do, won’t be him, not really. “I don’t want to hurt you but if we do this, I will. I’m gonna hurt us both. I just need you to know that.” 

That’s the fucked up thing about this option. It’s going to destroy Naruto worse than anything else. He already looks like the bastard, now Kakashi wants Naruto to act like him, too. It’s the ultimate defacement, the most powerful way to defile and besmirch the sunny, perfect, Uzumaki Naruto. Drag him down to this level, and watch him figure out how to enjoy it. 

“Ok,” Kakashi agrees airily and nods his head. “I understand.” A moment passes between them and the air goes hot and thick. The older ninja watches in fascination and horror as Naruto’s sad, concerned face shifts and darkens to something very different.

He still doesn’t look exactly like Minato, but his eyes do. They’re flinty and vulgar in how they roll over Kakashi’s body, like he already knows what he’ll find under his clothes. It makes Kakashi feel naked, and small. He whines, and Naruto jumps. 

* * *

_ The snake behind me hisses_   
_What my damage could have been_   
_My blood before me begs me_   
_Open up my heart again_

* * *

The taller of the two shoves himself against Kakashi and grinds him into the desk. His hands move quick and rough, grabbing at his teachers hips and spinning him around. 

Kakashi ends up face down on his own desk, hipbones digging into the wood, with Naruto’s half hard dick against his ass. It happens so fast the air gets knocked out of him. 

“Not even going to fight back, huh?” Naruto sounds wanton and disappointed. “Is that what you did for _ Minato-sensei_? Just went ass up as soon as he wanted it?” His palm slides over Kakashi’s backside, squeezing and pulling at him over the clothes. 

Kakashi feels frozen. He thinks, maybe, he did try to fight it but Minato wore him down. He should fight now. He tries to raise himself up, stand and do _something_, but Naruto was expecting that. Behind him the blond laughs and holds him down by the neck. Kakashi’s face burns. 

“Yeeeah,” Naruto groans and tightens his hand. He’s forcing Kakashi down like a dog that pissed on the carpet, rubbing his nose in it. “You never fought it, not really. I bet you made it so easy for him.” He starts yanking at his teachers pants, hears them rip and give as Kakashi’s hips are jerked up by the treatment. 

“Fuck,” Kakashi presses his forehead into the desk when he feels the fabric tear away. His voice is hushed, immediately falling into old habits. _ Stay quiet, don’t let anyone hear. _ “Stop, I don’t—” 

Naruto ignores him, kicks apart his legs and shoves Kakashi’s shirt up to his shoulders until it’s nearly over his head. His teachers pale back is a constellation of scars, which isn’t all that surprising. The only ninja alive without scars like these are all Jinchūriki… but he notices the ring of teeth marks right away. 

“Is that why you were always checking out my back?” He asks, fingering the crescent scars around his teachers shoulders and neck. “Fucking answer me,” he rips the shirt over Kakashi’s head and leaves the other completely bare. 

The older man tries to tuck his face under his own chest, pressed against the table. He hasn’t been without his mask in years. “Yes,” he answers frantically. “_Fuhg-_,” he gulps, sounding breathless and sick. “Fucker bit the shit out of me.” 

“Marked you up,” Naruto agrees. His hand glides all over, warm palm burning across Kakashi’s ribs, his sensitive lower flank, down his spine, and up to the meat of his shoulder. “Liked it from behind like this so he could see those scars every time he fucked you.” 

Kakashi feels tears sting his eyes, hot and scalding. How Naruto just _ knew _ kills him. Is it that obvious? After so many years, he still has that bastard on him. He clenches his eyes and chokes in a sob.

“And that’s the problem with father’s and their sons, right?” Naruto’s bandaged hand on Kakashi’s neck remains, but his other goes to his own fly. “We always want what our fathers have.” 

The older man can hear Naruto shove his pants around his thighs and pull his dick out. The blond hisses, and strokes himself with a dry palm. 

The spike of fear and arousal is so familiar Kakashi doesn’t think the two feelings have ever been properly separated. His face is wet and burning with shame because he’s so sure Naruto is about to shove it in dry. He can feel the heat radiating off of the blonde’s groin and how Naruto’s knuckles graze his ass cheek each time he pumps his cock. Kakashi clenches his own hands, preparing to bite his fist. 

Then Naruto digs his hand into Kakashi’s shoulder and slings him around, putting the silver-haired ninja on his back before pulling him clean off the desk. Kakashi lands on his knees before the blond, gaping up at Naruto with tears dampening his eyelashes. 

Naruto slides one hand into Kakashi’s hair and holds his head back. His other hand is on his own prick, still working himself up and down. He curves his palm and rubs the head of his cock like he’s showing it off. “It look like his?” 

Kakashi’s can’t move his neck or head because Naruto is gripping his hair, but his eyes slide down. Naruto’s dick is handsome; it’s curved, heavy, leaking from the flared tip, and framed by dark blonde hair. He can see a section of his bare thighs on either side where his trousers are open. His legs are thick and lightly dusted in blond hair, and of course he can see the white robe outlining everything from behind. From this angle, Kakashi could be looking at his sensei’s flushed cock, at his powerful thighs. “Yes,” he admits. It looks like Minato’s. 

“Hmm,” Naruto’s hand slides over the others scalp and rolls Kakashi’s head forward. “I was hoping you’d tell me mines bigger. He make you suck him a lot?”

“Sometimes,” he breathes and realizes his mouth is still open. 

“So you know what to do,” Naruto tightens his grip on the back of Kakashi’s head. “Get to it.” 

The blond tries to shove him forward and Kakashi rears back. He needs to try to fight it this time. He can’t just sit on knees like a dog, even if deep down he knows he won’t win. Even if he doesn’t want to win. 

Naruto snarls and grabs his former teacher by the jaw again and squeezes, forcing his mouth open. “First time I see your face and all I want to do is put my cock on it,” he says it so flippantly it’s hard to believe this is really Naruto. 

Kakashi jerks in his grasp and tries to use his hands to fight back but Naruto effortlessly creates an arm of orange chakra that binds his wrists to the floor. He can’t move now, can’t stand up and can’t get away. The fight bleeds out of him after that, knows he would die of old age before Naruto ran out of chakra. 

“Cute,” the blond comments and runs his hand through Kakashi’s silver hair. It’s patronizing and makes the older man feel cheap. “Now suck my dick or I’ll fuck you dry.” 

Kakashi opens his mouth obediently, tongue pillowed over his bottom teeth, and waits for Naruto to stick it in. This is how Minato liked him, subdued and pliant. Naruto seems to also appreciate it when he holds Kakashi’s head and thrusts up, hitting the back of his throat. 

The older ninja gags and the same moment his student sighs, _ “fuck yes._” 

It doesn’t stop. Naruto pulls Kakashi’s head forward and back, fucking his face without any regard for how the other retches and cries. Drool is pooling in the Copy-nins mouth, overflowing down his chin and jaw. It’s so wet they can both hear the sloppy, choked noise each time Kakashi tries to suck in a breath. 

Naruto rolls his hips on his teachers face and Kakashi’s nose hits his pelvis. “Goddamn,” he growls, holding the other man against his groin and choking him on his dick. 

Kakashi struggles and jerks, but he can’t move his arms. He’s helpless as Naruto forces his cock deep and just holds it there. He can’t breathe and tears are streaming down his face. 

“Let me feel you swallow on it,” Naruto pants and pets his teachers head. The violence and sentiment together are so unbearably cruel. 

The man on his knees obeys, desperately working his throat around the dick shoved down his gullet. It makes a lewd, humiliating noise. Above him Naruto moans and pumps inside his mouth indulgently. Kakashi sputters and feels lightheaded from the lack of air but then Naruto pulls out. Kakashi gasps and coughs, folding toward the floor as sweet air fills his lungs. 

Naruto, unbothered, returns to stroking his now wet cock above the other. Eventually, though, he drags Kakashi up by the hair and does it again. And again. And again. He fucks into his teachers mouth, pulling Kakashi by the hair, and then hilts himself in the back of the Copy-nins throat until Kakashi can’t breathe and almost passes out. He talks through all of it, says filthy, mean things. 

“Look so pretty crying on my dick.” 

“So fucking wet for it.”

“Gonna fuck your throat raw.” 

“Gag on it.” 

Every time he thinks Naruto is close the blond pulls out and whittles himself down, drawing this out until Kakashi’s knees are throbbing and his jaw is sore and his throat is burning. In the end, he feels high from the lack of oxygen and his student has to hold him up by the hair like a ragdoll. 

Naruto finishes by jerking off in Kakashi’s face, coming like geyser and rubbing his cockhead against the Copy-nins wet cheek and lips. In ruins Kakashi, paints his face in runny, disgusting globs. 

The older ninja actually feels relief when Naruto moans and busts all over his face. He sags, sucking air through torn lips and looks up at his student with heavy, drunk eyes. 

Naruto’s eyes are blown wide and his face is slackened with pleasure. He looks down on his teacher with an amazed, reverent expression. Minato would give him the same look and it makes Kakashi squirm in confused, rotted, pride. 

“You’re hard,” Naruto accuses and shifts his weight, lifting his booted foot and pressing it into Kakashi’s erection. 

The older man moans weakly and tries to close his legs. He wants to hide the humiliating evidence of his arousal, but Naruto just yanks his hair until he goes limp again. He hangs there, dick hard and flushed between them, and let’s Naruto look him over. 

“Did he ever get you off?” The blond releases him, letting Kakashi fall back to the floor. 

The Copy-nin crumbles, still dazed and parched from the brutal face fuck. He shakes his head and groans; no, Minato didn’t get him off. He only ever used him. It was usually quick and rough, always from behind. It mostly happened away on missions in the dark, outside in the wilderness. Kakashi was a convenient, easy way to blow off steam that Minato couldn’t get pregnant. 

Naruto crawls behind him, still fully dressed with his cock hanging out. He’s hard even after coming, blessed with youth and endless stamina. His hands slide up his teachers sprawled legs and squeeze his thighs before snatching his hips up. 

Kakashi bends at the waist and lets himself be manhandled onto his hands and knees. His wrists are still bound together but not sealed to the ground like before. Naruto is positioning his body, laying him out to be mounted and fucked on the floor like a slut. He knows this will be rough, but not quick. 

“I'm going to make you come on my cock,” Naruto promises darkly. He guides his teachers chest to the floor until Kakashi is face down and ass up for him and then presses against him from behind. “And you’re going to tell me I’m a better fuck than my old man.” He spits, and saliva drops over Kakashi’s exposed asshole. 

The older man jerks and throws his head to the side. “_Naruto,_” his voice cracks. 

“Yeah,” he laughs. “Fucking same my name,” his voice is not kind. The blond digs his thumb inside Kakashi, pressing past the tight ring with the aid of a bit of saliva. Naruto spits again and watches the way his teachers hole flutters. 

Kakashi squeezes his eyes shut. He remembers this. He remembers Minato pulling him open and spitting over his hole a few times before he pushed inside. He never bothered with a finger first, though. 

Behind him he can hear Naruto fisting himself and shuffle closer. They both groan when the blond rubs his swollen cockhead over Kakashi’s wet hole. 

“Kakashi,” the younger man speaks his name like a warning. 

The silver-haired ninja whines. He’s tight all over with fear. He’s thinking of Minato; the way he smelled and tasted and felt moving inside him. 

“If you say his name while I’m fucking you,” he says slowly and lines himself up. “I’ll kill you.” 

Kakashi’s shouts into the floor when Naruto shoves inside him. The two gobs of spit and single finger weren’t nearly enough to curb the sharp pain of being forced open. God, this is worse than the first time. Or did he just forget? 

Naruto doesn’t pause or pay him any mind. The blond just sighs and circles his hips lazily. “Oh, _fuck_. You feel so good.” He moves like he has all the time in the world, like Kakashi’s body is an easy commodity. 

Kakashi grunts in pain after every thrust and hides his face between his arms. He can feel Naruto roll into him, spear him deep, and it takes his breath away. 

“Is this how he liked it?” Naruto slides his hands over his teachers back and under his stomach. “Is this how he fucked you?” He pries Kakashi’s cheeks apart just to watch his own cock glide in and out. It’s a tight fit and the sight of such a small hole wrapped around his length is obscene. He spits again and works the saliva around Kakashi's rim. It makes the drag a little less rough, but it's still not easy. 

Kakashi is drooling on the floor, face twisted in pain. Naruto has his thighs forced so far apart his stomach is nearly touching the ground and his ass it tipped up. All he can feel is Naruto’s raw dick sawing in and out of his body. 

“I bet he did,” the blond growls and moves slower, still admiring the view. “Your sweet little ass looks good taking my prick. This is what he saw when he fucked you, too.” 

“Fuck,” Kakashi curses against his own wrist. Naruto is rolling into him with more coordination and it still hurts but the pain is ebbing. Kakashi’s stomach is sloshing with disgust and pleasure. 

“Fucking tight and hot,” Naruto rambles and grips the other man by the waist. “That’s it,” he forces Kakashi’s hips back on him. “Move with me, fuck.” 

Kakashi begins to shake. It's starting to feel good and maybe Naruto isn’t as cruel as his father but maybe he’s worse. _ “Ah,” _ he gasps when the blond snaps his hips over his prostate. He hates himself for it, hates that he’s getting off on it, and hates that Naruto knows. "_F-fuck_." 

Naruto purposely hits that spot again and laughs when Kakashi moans for it. “Taking it so good now,” he praises and fucks into his teacher harder, faster, until Kakashi is making high, pathetic noises with each stroke into him. 

“Ah, ah, ah, _ god_, fuck,” he groans and takes it face down.

“You make those pretty noises for my dad when he got inside you?” He cracks his hips a little deeper, letting his teacher know he expects an honest answer. 

“No, never,” Kakashi answers through clenched teeth. 

“That’s right,” the blond slows his pace but rolls his hips deep. He wants Kakashi to feel every thick inch sinking into him and know he can’t stop it. “He wanted you _quiet_.” 

Kakashi whimpers. His strongest memories are of Minato’s big hand cupped over his mouth and under his nose. He couldn’t scream, couldn’t breathe. He just had to take it and listen to his teacher grunt and sigh next to his ear. 

“But he’s not fucking you, is he?” Naruto sounds angry again and grips Kakashi's narrow hips. He's pumping into the other man in quick, shallow jerks of his hips that make them both curse. “Who’s fucking you, Hatake?”

“_Naruto_!” 

“Tell me you like it,” he demands a little breathlessly. He knows Kakashi is getting off on this; he can feel it each time his teacher clenches around him and throws his ass back. 

“_Yes_,” Kakashi sobs and his dick jumps between his own legs. “I like it,” he’s still crying. He doesn’t have control of anything right now. 

“Tell me I’m better than my dad.” His hips are jerking forward so hard every collision makes a loud, fleshy _slap_.

“You’re better,” he grits out and feels a new bout of hot shame wash down his body. “So much better, _ yes_, Naruto.” 

Naruto swears into the air. “No wonder he couldn’t keep his hands off you.” He hauls Kakashi up and brings them back to chest, pressed together from shoulder to thigh. His hands are sliding all over his body, pinching his nipples and stroking his lower stomach. 

It feels good, and Kakashi moans. “Please stop,” he can’t take this. Minato never had this much power and control over him. “Please stop,” even as he begs he’s grinding back on Naruto’s prick. He can’t even stop himself, let alone the blond fucking him.

Naruto kisses his shoulder, right where Minato’s teeth marks are stamped into him. “No,” he answers calmly and reaches around to fondle Kakashi’s dick. 

The Copy-nin wails and his hips stutter. He throws his head back, cradled against Naruto’s shoulder and blinks up at the ceiling. The blond is still pumping into him with short, tight thrusts after the position change but his hand is firm and warm and tugs on him perfectly. 

Naruto eases his teacher into it and the power trip is better than anything he’s ever experienced before. This is better than wielding the Rasengan; this is better than all of Kurama’s rage and power; this is better than having the entire village at his feet. 

“Fuck my hand,” Naruto’s voice is soft against the others ear but leaves no room for argument. 

The Copy-nin winces but immediately snaps his hips up, fucking into the coil of Naruto’s fist. When he comes back down his student grinds up and Kakashi impales himself and groans. 

“Good boy, just like that,” Naruto controls the pace for them and breathes into Kakashi’s sweaty neck and against his ear.

Kakashi gasps and rolls his head. He watches himself buck into Naruto’s hand and feels himself float away. He’s close. He’s going to come and he can’t stop it. “I'm—” Naruto’s hand tights on his prick and a second later, just as the first wave of heat licks across Kakashi’s skin, a kunai is digging into his shoulder. 

The Copy-nin screams and thrashes, feeling the blade flay him open even as Naruto continues to fuck him and stroke his cock. Blood is spilling down his back and more helpless tears burn his eyes but he can’t stop any of it.

Distantly, Kakashi is aware that there are too many hands on him. Naruto is jerking him off and holding his hip; at least two other hands are working into his shoulder and tearing back skin. It must be clones; he didn’t even notice their summons. 

“I’m gonna cut him out of you,” Naruto says into the others ear. “That bastard put his teeth in you and I’m cutting it out.” The kunai drags over the last inch and the blade clatters to the floor. 

Naruto immediately pulls his cock out and Kakashi shouts at the sudden separation. The Copy-nin falls on his stomach, sprawled out with his legs open. The flayed skin on his shoulder is burning and there’s blood and sweat spilling down the dip of his spine. He feels like a crippled bird with severed wings.

Naruto shifts behind him and Kakashi hears a _ snick _ of a bottle being opened. When the silver-haired ninja turns around he sees two Naruto’s, and he has no idea which is the real one. They’re both smeared with Kakashi’s blood and both are standing with their cocks out, unashamed and offensive. 

One of them is holding a bottle of lube and applies it to the other’s dick. The fact that Naruto had lubricant but didn’t use it earlier isn’t missed by the Copy-nin, and his student(s) smirk at him. 

“How does it feel?” The Naruto with the bottle asks while slathering up his doppelganger.

“He’s talking to you,” the other says with a breathy, distracted voice and nods to Kakashi. 

The elder realizes Naruto is asking about his shoulder. How does it feel to be free of Minato’s mark? He gingerly raises his arm on the other side, tries to touch the spot. His fingers collide with hot, slippery, seared flesh and he hisses. 

“You’re like a virgin now,” one of the blondes observes. “All fresh and tender. You’re even bleeding for it.” 

Kakashi feels sick at the comparison. Virgins are pure, and he hasn’t been that in a long time. He looks between the two men standing over him and feels a lurch of excitement and fear. 

The one holding the bottle moves first, going behind Kakashi and joining him on the floor. He easily turns the older man onto his back and pulls Kakashi's head into his lap. Kakashi's wrists are pinned next, and he's held down belly up. 

Like this Kakashi can look down his own body. His pale stomach dips slightly with every sharp breath and his dick lays heavy and rosy for all of them to see. He’s never been spread out like this. He’s always been face down, hiding while Minato did what he wanted…this exposure is far worse. 

The second Naruto, who’s cock is now shiny and slick, drops to his knees and gets between his teachers open legs. He pulls Kakashi's hips forward and forces the older mans legs up and out, exposing his ass to the tepid air. "Fuck, you're wrecked," he comments as he looks over the Copy-nins gaping asshole.

Kakashi boils in shame, knowing that his student is admiring the sight of his abused, swollen hole. Above him the other man grins and continues to hold Kakashi down. 

The blond between his teachers legs takes up the bottle of lube and dumps an obscene amount over Kakashi’s fucked hole. “I'm gonna get you wet like a virgin, too.” Naruto rubs the lube across his used, tender opening. His fingers easily slip inside, spreading the slick around. Then Naruto smears the rest over Kakashi's thighs and up his balls and shaft. 

Kakashi grits his teeth. The slick slipping between his legs makes him feel filthy and easy. He can feel how Naruto’s fingers just pop into him and knows the blond isn’t trying to ease the way. He’s just playing with Kakashi, shoving his fingers inside because he can. Looking down, Kakashi can see his drenched thighs and bobbing, wet dick. It's humiliating.

“Oh yeah,” the blond between Kakashi’s legs praises his teacher. “You’re gonna watch me fuck you this time.” He lines himself up, grinding his cockhead against his teachers asshole. 

Kakashi’s back bows as his student presses in, but the blond holding his wrists keeps him bound. He’s loose and giving after being fucked raw earlier and the added ease of the lube makes it _ so good._ He moans and his eyes roll back into his head before Naruto's even full seated. Both blonde’s laugh at him. 

“He’s going to fucking come,” one says smugly. 

“Yeah,” the other agrees with a far rougher voice. 

Kakashi’s face is aflame. His shoulder is still burning and bleeding against his student's thigh and no one is even touching his dick but yes. Before this is over, he’s going to come on Naruto’s cock. 

The man leaning above him is staring at Kakashi’s face, not letting him hide from them or himself. The knowledge that Naruto is watching his every expression, knows when something hurts and when it feels good, is devastating. Kakashi can’t get away, can only roll his head side to side and ask for it to be over. 

“Fuck you should see your face,” the man pinning him down curses. “You fucking love this.” 

The other blond is gripping his teachers waist and thrusting into Kakashi like he paid for it. “You’re the best virgin I’ve ever had,” he groans and hilts himself so deep his balls smack the others ass. He has Kakashi’s legs spilling over his own thighs, forced open around his hips. “Still tight for me after I fucked you up, so good baby. Moan for me again,” he demands breathlessly and snaps his hips in a way that has his teacher twisting and crying out. 

“_Gah-fuck_!” Kakashi can’t string together enough words. The blond would be fucking him across the floor if it weren’t for the other holding him down. Between the two of them he feels like a toy, held down and unable to do anything but _ take. _It’s brutal and too good all at once. He can feel the honey thick drag in his lower stomach, feel how his own pelvis is rolling up on Naruto’s prick, and he does moan for it. 

“That’s right,” Naruto groans and hits that spot inside Kakashi again and again. “Take my cock. You know you want it, fuck.” He's watching Kakashi’s body swallow him; Kakashi is watching himself get fucked; and the other Naruto is watching Kakashi lose his fucking mind. 

The Copy-nin moans and his legs shoot out, toes curling. He wants to hide his face or bite his fist but he can’t. He’s so close and Naruto’s unblinking eyes are watching him. His orgasm is as sharp and unforgiving as everything else. It yanks free, and Kakashi comes across his own chest with a high cry.

“Fuck,” the Naruto between his teachers legs growls and pumps his hips faster, savoring the hot, slick, sleeve clamping around him. “Told you,” he laughs weakly, still chasing his own pleasure. “Fucking told you I’d make you come.” 

Kakashi’s head rolls in the others lap. He’s floating and gasping for air. He’s so high on his orgasm he can’t even feel his torn shoulder. 

“He’s close now,” the blond holding him down says sweetly and releases his teachers wrists. He pets the older mans silver hair, keeping it out of his sweaty face. “He’s going to come in you, dump his load in your tight ass and make you take all of it.” 

“Shit, I—” Kakashi shakes his head, doesn’t even know what he wants to say._ Yes, please give it to me! _Or,_ Stop, no more, I don’t want it_. He closes his eyes but he can still feel Naruto pushing into him, using his body. He can hear him groan and sigh. 

“Next time,” the blond pets his teacher again and Kakashi’s blood runs cold. Next time? Naruto is going to do this again? “I’m going to make a clone of Minato so he can watch me fuck you. He’ll beg me for a turn, just one last time with you, but I won’t let him. I’ll make him watch as I push inside you and work at you until you come on my cock.” 

Kakashi’s eyes spring open and he looks at the man rutting between his legs. The blond has his head thrown back, long straw hair nearly to his shoulders, and his pelvis is rolling lewdly. His base pleasure is so obvious, carelessly shoving himself into Kakashi again and again. 

In his hazy, traumatized state Kakashi sees Minato. 

The blond moans, “fuck, I’m coming.” He jerks his hips faster and fucks Kakashi so hard they’re both gritting their teeth. His load spills and when he looks pdown, Kakashi is stringing his arm with chirping lightening. 

* * *

_I am too connected to you to_   
_Slip away, to fade away_   
_Days away I still feel you_   
_Touching me, changing me_   
_And considerately killing me_

* * *

Naruto’s hips are still circling when the chidori rips through his chest. Blood flies out of his mouth, splattering across Kakashi’s vengeful face. 

Times slows for the Copy-nin; he stops breathing. For the briefest moment, he feels a snap of vindication and peace. Minato will die on his chidori. Then, realization and horror creep in. He looks from his arm to the man attached to it and sees Naruto’s sweet, devastated face. Kakashi has a half second to hope he ran through the clone before the figure sitting behind him disappears in a puff of smoke. He’s just impaled Naruto, his student, his friend. 

“Naruto,” his voice is startled like a child who realized he killed the butterfly he’s been torturing. 

Above him the blond gurgles and looks down. Blood is seeping into the white robe and Kakashi is still buried inside him, probably afraid to rip his arm out and hasten his death. They’re also still connected more intimately. “It’s alright,” he winces and takes hold of his teachers arm with both hands. He tilts his hips back, and his softening, wet prick pours out. He hardly feels it, but Kakashi flinches. It’s such a gentle sensation, after all the violence. 

Kakashi looks up at him with unfathomable grief, looks at his own arm. He can feel how warm the blond is, how the tight chasm of flesh clings to his arm, how his wet blood leaves Kakashi drenched. Naruto is dying. “I’m…oh god.” 

More blood flecks out of Naruto’s mouth. “Pull out, I got it.” His voice is wrecked, but he nods to let the other know he means it. Orange chakra begins to billow out around the wound, wriggling in between the shredded flesh and Kakashi’s arm. 

The older ninja blinks, still numb with shock, but slowly withdrawals his arm. Each inch comes back slick with blood and the sight makes Kakashi sick. When they sever the last of their connection Naruto hits the floor and gasps up at the ceiling. His chest is still open, but the orange chakra is stifling the bleeding. 

Kakashi falls back, braced on his arms and tries to breath. He’s coming down from the orgasm high and adrenaline drop and the bloodlust is burning out of him like gasoline. He stares at his fallen student and knows he needs to act but he can’t stand up. He looks at his bloodied hand; he’s shaking. 

Naruto is sucking in rasping breaths a few feet away and his blue eyes are vacant. “Kakashi,” he calls weakly. It looks like he can’t move. 

The Copy-nin makes a choked noise and scrambles forward. His bloodied arm and shoulder leave sticky red trails on the wooden floor as he drags himself closer. “Is it…are you…” he can’t bring himself to ask if Naruto is dying.

“Nah,” he coughs and winces when it pulls his wounds. He has torn flesh and muscle and broken ribs. His left lung is in bad shape, but his heart is strong. “Kurama was ready.”

Kakashi feels the last of his tears slide down his face in relief. Naruto isn’t going to die. He didn’t kill him. Of course, it also means Naruto expected this. He knew Kakashi would snap, and he let it happen this way.

The relief takes the last of Kakashi’s strength. Bloodied and used, and high on pain and sex and revenge, he places his head on the floor and listens to his student breathe until he falls asleep. 

XiiX

When Kakashi wakes some time later he’s laying on a sofa in his office and his arm has been cleaned of Naruto’s blood. There’s a bandage on his shoulder and a blanket over his body. Beside him there’s a glass of water and a set of fresh clothes on the floor. 

The room has been straightened up, too, probably with the assistance of clones. All the items that had been knocked off his desk have been returned and the blood and come and sweat has been wiped up. The only evidence that remains is his Hokage robe. It’s hanging on the back of his desk chair, blood stained like a memorial flag. 

And Naruto sits against the doors to the office, guarding Kakashi’s modesty by ensuring no one enters. He’s not wearing a shirt and Kakashi can see the bandages around his middle. Even with Kurama’s healing powers, some things take time. 

“Hey,” the blond says softly when he notices Kakashi has woke up. 

Kakashi sits up gingerly. His shoulder is tender and his ass is sore. He goes for the water first and the blanket pools around his waist as he drinks. 

From across the room Naruto watches him. His eyes don’t roam over Kakashi’s exposed body, but it looks like he wants to do exactly that. 

For lack of anything more profound to say Kakashi rasps out, “thank you.” 

Naruto smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “For what, exactly?” 

_The glass of water or murder rape revenge fantasy?_

Kakashi hasn’t even begun to sort his feelings on what happened. Right now he’s still exhausted and recovering. “I’m…processing,” he admits. 

The blond is still giving him a sad smile but he looks to the side. He’s sitting on the floor with one leg drawn up and his arm over his knee. Kakashi can appreciate the irony. This whole nasty business started over 20 years ago with Minato; it passed down to the next generation, and now Kakashi wakes up to Naruto watching _him _sleep. 

“What time is it?” The elder asks, because he does actually work here. 

“A little after three in the morning,” the blond answers casually like they didn’t do what they just did. “Do you want me to go?” 

The easy answer, the one on the surface, is yes. The truth is more complicated. “I don’t know.” He wants some privacy but the idea of being alone is unbearable. Besides, they’re in this together, now. 

Naruto just nods and drops his head against the door behind him. “Do you regret it?” 

“Do you?” Kakashi returns incredulously. Naruto did what he did, but Kakashi shoved his arm through the young man's chest. Kakashi tried to kill him. 

Naruto turns his head and looks at his teacher. “No, I don’t.” There’s no uncertainty in his voice. 

“I almost killed you.” 

Naruto shrugs. He seems careful not to move too fast or put himself too close to his teacher. “It was worth it. You, ah,” he looks down. “…you’re not looking at me, like that, right now.” He actually blushes, after everything that happened, _this_ makes his face warm. 

Kakashi doesn’t need to ask what the other means by that. He still hates what happened, what Minato did, but that feels.. separated from Naruto, now. The fact that it took all this to get here is bitter, though. Naruto only ever wanted Kakashi to like him. No one should have to go through all this just to be looked upon without hate. His heart breaks a little, recognizing not for the first time how he has hurt the blond. 

Naruto has done so much for him and asked for so little in return. 

The Copy-nin pulls his legs up. It opens some space on the sofa. Naruto could sit here; he wouldn’t mind. “I shouldn’t have put that on you.” 

“You do regret it,” the blond sounds nauseous and his face pales. 

Kakashi tries to clarify. “No, I… it was cathartic, but I shouldn’t have asked you to do it. This is my fault, not yours.” 

“But… who else could have done it?” Naruto asks, wavering between despair and hope. He wants confirmation he didn’t fuck them up worse than they were before. 

The elder looks away, out the window. It’s too dark to see the Hokage Monument, but he knows it’s there. Could anyone else have given Kakashi the freedom to do what they just did? He would have truly killed anyone else, but it was more than that. Naruto was apart of this sordid cycle of abuse and self-loathing. No, it had to be him. 

“I needed it. All of it. Thank you.” Kakashi admits quietly and looks back at Naruto. The younger man sags against the door, like he’s a peace and could die now. 

Throughout the experience and after, while Kakashi was unconscious, Naruto hadn’t broke. The blond turned himself into the villain and then, with a fucking hole in his chest, cleaned up their mess. He still hasn’t come down from it… but the crash is approaching.

Kakashi can see it. 

Naruto’s face is tipped up, but his brow is tight with grief. His shoulders tick up, growing more and more tense with each breath like he’s holding in a rising, mournful sound. When he lifts a hand to his eyes a small cry breaks out, but he stays on the floor. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t need this right now.” 

Kakashi winces. Earlier he had told Naruto that this wasn’t about him. He had been wrong then, but that’s definitely not fair now. “Come here.” 

The blond is barely keeping his mouth shut, and creeping, harsh shudders threaten to rip out. He shakes his head, as if he thinks the best place for him is on the floor. 

“Please,” Kakashi asks. He wants a chance to redeem himself, to help his student let go of all the shit he put on him. 

Naruto only hesitates for another second but then stands too fast. He opens the wounds on his torso, but he hardly pays it any mind. Red blooms over the bandages and he curls up on the sofa next to Kakashi, but doesn’t touch him. 

The blond looks across the small space. He knows that the elder is naked under the sheet and injured, injured from the things Naruto did to him. He can’t imagine why Kakashi would want him this close, but Naruto is yearning for it. He’s wanted his teachers affection for a long time and only ever got hateful looks. Now, after Naruto twisted them into something so ugly, there might be a chance for something better. 

Kakashi can see the desperation and insecurity vibrating through the other. “It’s ok,” the Copy-nin murmurs and opens his arms in invitation. Naruto doesn’t fight it anymore and goes to Kakashi’s middle, hugging the older man around the waist like a bereft child. “It’s fine, just…let it go.” 

Naruto _ sobs _ into Kakashi’s stomach. He’s been trying to settle his feelings about what he’s learned, about what he’s done, but he can’t. It’s eating him up… knowing what he’s capable of. He never wanted to know this about himself.

Kakashi does his best to bear it. The sound tears him up, though. He feels like a monster all over. Wasn’t this the plan, originally? He knew this would devastate the blond. It had once seemed like a good idea, but now that victory is tasteless ash.

“What if I really am like him,” Naruto is crying so hard he’s going to make himself sick if he doesn’t stop. 

“You’re not.” He gently places his hand against Naruto’s heaving back. He’s never been particularly good at comforting others, but he thinks about the things he’s wished someone had told him. “I’m telling you, you’re not like him. You never were.” 

Naruto shakes his head, still hiding his face. “I don’t feel right. I was angry and I hur-_ hurt _ you and I _ liked _ it. I’m fucked up just like him.” 

Kakashi carefully pulls the blond up and holds his face between both hands. “You’re not,” he promises again. He sucks in a fortifying breath. “And… it was good. Even when it hurt and you were a mean bastard… it was good, for me.” Kakashi might have to evaluate some things about himself. Since he got away from Minato he avoided certain taboos but he thinks now he might have been repressing more than just anger. 

Now isn’t the time, though. He can examine the way he lit up for the humiliation, asphyxiation, and loss of control in a few days. Right now, Naruto and Kakashi both need to cauterize this wound. 

Naruto blinks, and tears tumble from his eyelashes. They spill over his whisker scars and crash against Kakashi’s hands that are on his face. His blue eyes slide to the side despondently. “But doesn’t that mean I’m…” he feels another lurch in his stomach and presses his face to the other's palm. He really doesn’t want to throw up now, not with a hole in his chest still healing. 

The older man sighs sadly. He’s still naked under the blanket and without his mask. This is as bare as he’s ever been, emotionally and physically. Naruto is in a similar state, crying and bleeding all over the place. They’re a mess. “I asked for it. You’re not... whatever you think. I wanted you to do it. The rest doesn’t matter.” 

Naruto looks at his teacher dumbly, like he isn’t convinced but he doesn’t know how to argue. If one of them is guilty, they both are. Eventually, he nods and straightens up to look at his bandages. They’re ruined, and he needs to redress them. 

Kakashi looks over the other. The blond is basically sitting between his legs, though the sheet separates them. All things considered, Kakashi should probably be kicking Naruto away but he doesn’t have the urge. Maybe he’s so calm because the worst thing Naruto could do has already happened, and they’re both still standing. “Do you want help?” 

Naruto looks like he might cry again at the offer but sniffles and nods. 

Kakashi wraps the sheet around his waist and finds the first aid kit left strewn open on the floor near where his student had been sitting. When he comes back Naruto is carefully undressing the bandages, but he’s struggling. “Let me,” Kakashi murmurs and goes to his knees before the blond so he has access to his middle. 

Naruto’s arms go up to the back of the couch and he grips the top cushions frantically. He’s strung tight as a bow, but not from pain. He watches as his teacher slowly begins to unwind the soiled bandages, letting it spool out beside them on the floor. As the pile gets taller, it almost feels like there’s another presence sitting beside them. 

Kakashi stays focused on the task and keeps his movements slow and short to avoid straining his own shoulder. He notices how Naruto’s breathing goes tight and shallow, but doesn’t blame him for it. Kakashi has been on his knees a lot this night; even he isn’t totally unaffected. 

The sight of the wound is sobering, though. It looks so much smaller than it felt, but it’s likely the fox demon had already healed a good bit of it. Even so, the fleshy mouth of the hole is gnarled and charred. It’s still bleeding lazily. Kakashi gulps and feels a dip in his stomach. 

Naruto notices how his teacher pales and looks sick. Both of them are familiar with battle wounds, with lost limbs and dead and dying bodies. The gore shouldn’t shake the Copy-nin, but it does. “It’s alright,” Naruto rasps out and licks his bottom lip. His hands are still gripping the sofa. “I’ve had worse.” 

Kakashi’s eyes flick up. “I put my arm through you. It’s not alright.” The way Naruto minimizes his own pain breaks his heart. 

“And I carved up your shoulder while I fucked you,” he shoots back. “We’ve both seen each other at our worst. Stop beating yourself up.” 

The elder says nothing, just frowns as he finishes redressing Naruto’s bandages. When he’s done he looks up at the other, but stays on the floor. He wants to make a suggestion, but worries how it might be recieved. Kakashi sighs and looks up at the other. “I think… you should take some time.” 

Naruto's expression floods with panic. “You want me to leave?” Go away, get out of his sight, leave Konoha.

“No, I don’t want you to _ leave _ for good,” Kakashi clarifies. “But if you want, you could get away for a while….get away from me." He's still on the floor and with the bandages redressed his hands are free. He places one on the others knee. "You’ll have to start working in the Hokage Tower soon.” Naruto will be his successor, there’s no doubt about it. 

Naruto looks down, sad but considering it. The idea of working closely with Kakashi right after this feels like suffocating. The idea of stepping away right when he finally fought and clawed for a deeper understanding between them feels like giving up, though. 

“Just think about it,” Kakashi asks and stands. He can see his student trying to work out his thoughts. He won’t force him to leave, even if some space might be good for both of them. 

“And when I get back?” He sounds unsure, eyes following Kakashi as the elder goes to the pile of clothes nearby. “Are you going to pretend like this never happened?” 

Kakashi carefully bends to pick up a clean pair of underwear. He's not even sure how Naruto found his spare clothes, but he's grateful. "Is that what you want?" It’s a fair question. They could put this behind them, forget how cruel they have been to each other and bury it. 

“No,” Naruto doesn’t hesitate. “We’re the only people alive that know… I’ll never be able to forget. I don’t want to.” 

Kakashi gulps, feeling a bit blown over by that. He’d give almost anything to forget the things Minato put him through…but this shared feeling isn’t so bad. Naruto knows, and he’s not running away. He’s not leaving him alone with it. “Alright, we won’t pretend.” 

XiiX

Naruto leaves for eight months. 

When he returns, his hair is clipped short and he officially begins working as Kakashi’s second in command, again his student.

There are no more hostile glances or flashes of killing intent. They treat each other with kindness and respect. They don’t talk about why Minato’s portrait has been removed from the Hokages office. 

But five months after Naruto returns, Kakashi asks the blond out for drinks. His grey eyes are a little wild, a little like they used to be, but there’s no anger or hate. It looks a bit more like desire, the kind of desperation that only comes from deep trust. 

Naruto accepts. 

XiiX

_Without the skin_   
_Beneath the storm_   
_Under these tears_   
_The walls came down_   
_And the snake is drowned and_   
_As I look in his eyes_   
_My fear begins to fade_   
_Recalling all of those times_   
_I could have cried then_   
_I should have cried then_   
_And as the walls come down and_   
_As I look in your eyes_   
_My fear begins to fade_

XiiX 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Kakashi is written in a sympathetic way. I have NO sympathy for acts of child abuse. No one gets a pass for that shit. Period.  
2) In a perfect world, Kakashi would have got therapy and dealt with his trauma. Instead he went to mf Anbu and then got paired with his rapists lookalike son. I don't view him as someone who is attracted to children, but the unresolved trauma made him unhinged in alot of ways, manifesting mostly in unhealthy revenge fantasies  
3) The way Naruto and Kakashi "resolved" the tension around their relationship (the fucked up sex) is pure fantasy. That's not how trauma works. Realistically, even if they pursued a relationship it would take sooo much to work through that.  
4) Naruto tells Kakashi "its ok" that he wanted to take it out on Naruto. It's not! This is indicative of Naruto's own issues. He's the poster child for the kind of person that would be targeted for exploitation. He's been isolated most of his life and starved for love/attention.  
5) If you're dealing with unresolved trauma, of any sort, please seek the appropriate help. This is fanfiction and obviously not real. This should be a safe place to explore some darker themes/fantasy but real talk-don't normalize this behavior. It's not alright and we should address it if it's ever more than fantasy.  
6) yoooo so this plot bunny literally happened like this "but why does Naruto cut his hair so short at the end of Shippuden? He looks better with long hair! And he looks like his dad! *le gasp* what if there's a REASON he doesn't want to look like his dad??"  
And boom. This happened. I realize this plot is OOC for Minato...but then again how many times have we learned that "good guys" are actually creepy rapists in real life? 
> 
> Aaaah anyway, I'm going to go stick my head in the dirt. Hope the uncomfortable ride was at least entertaining??


End file.
